i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
