Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
