I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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