I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
