Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
