hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
