He passed out mid-signature
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
40s are totally the cure
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
