this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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