bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
