just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
