His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
As shirtless as possible
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
