Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
