ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
