Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
