Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
