I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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