"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sarcasm needs its own font
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
