Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
