Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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