No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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