the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
