Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
