$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
