I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
