why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
