I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
