the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
