hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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