you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
soo... how was my night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
