margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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