you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
