I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
