We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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