and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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