Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
