pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
