She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
