no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
