??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
