You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
