Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
