I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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