When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
