i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
