I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Still dying that you shit outside
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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