I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
