The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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