How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
