there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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