hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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